Jokes Sent To Us
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door.
The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says, "Hey little boy. What are you doing?"
The little boy says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look.
"Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.
"Thanks mister," says the little boy.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.
Little boy," says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck, I think you could go faster."
The little boy says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
The John vs. Clarence Feud:
There were some "backwoods ignorant" hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly.
John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence.
This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river.
John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and "whip Clarence's butt."
He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and "whip Clarence's butt?"
He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign:
"CLARENCE 8 FT 3 IN"
There was this man that took his dog duck hunting with him in his little johnboat.
When the ducks flew over head he shot and one fell.
He told the dog to go and get the duck.
The dog jumped from the boat walked across the water, got the duck and came back.
The duck hunter couldn't believe his eyes.
So he waited until more ducks flew over, shot, one fell; he ordered the dog to go get the duck.
As before, the dog jumped from the boat walked across the water, got the duck, and came back.
He still couldn't believe his eyes and NOBODY would believe his story.
So off to town he went to find a preacher because everyone believes a preacher.
He and the preacher are sitting in the boat, ducks fly by, man shoots, one duck falls; he gives the "fetch" command.
The dog jumps from the boat walks across the water gets the duck and comes back.
The preacher didn't say anything! So the man, anxiously asks the preacher, "Did you see anything unusual about my dog?"
The preacher answers, "Sure, he can't swim."