My mother taught me LOGIC: ... "Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT: ... "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: ... "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me IRONY: ... "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: ... "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA: ... "You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER: ... "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: ... "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: ... "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me RELIGION: ... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: ... "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: ... "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: ... "Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY: ... "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
THANKS, MOM! 
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Replace that broken toilet tank lid for Mom
Fix Mom's toilet.
Maybe buy Mom a new faucet?
Bet Mom would love a new Elephant size shower head!
"My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune."
Graycie Harmon
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"My Mother taught me to walk proud and tall 'as if the world was mine.'"
Sophia Loren
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"I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine -
she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights."
Terri Guillemets
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"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. "
Marion C. Garretty
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